She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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