Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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