Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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