she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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