I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Randomize
