hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
