if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
