i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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