i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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