i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
