I'm gonna have a badass scar
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
