When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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