never play flip cup with pint glasses
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
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Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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