A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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