ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
