Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
