I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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