The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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