just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
