Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
