we made out on top of his cat.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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