Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
