I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
