Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
