Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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