we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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