; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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