Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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