There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize