Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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