I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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