Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
