I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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