I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Say something about gay babies.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
