It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
