Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
