party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
