He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
