well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
