kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
God, I missed his penis.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
