it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
