yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
