Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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