And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize