we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
