My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
