I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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