doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
