Kiss
Puke
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
