And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Your cock deserves a montage
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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