Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize