That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
