im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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