My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Rumble strips road head = magical
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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