Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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