uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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