Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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